Living with HIV: My First Eighteen Months

It has been a year and a half since I was diagnosed with HIV. At first, I thought my life was over. “I’m going to die” was the immediate thought that ran through my mind. I didn’t know much about the virus then, and fear filled the space where knowledge should have been. Beyond my personal worries, I was most afraid of how people would react and what the diagnosis would mean for my life socially and professionally.

This experience inspired me to write and share my journey. I’m not dead yet, and I recognize the privilege in being able to tell this story. I have access to medication and care, and I don’t have to hide my status to protect my safety. I have friends and family who continue to support me. Being open about living with HIV is a privilege many do not have, and I don’t take that for granted.

Recovery, Setbacks, and Acceptance

The last eighteen months have been a journey with highs and lows. I’ve stumbled, returned to old crutches, and formed some new habits. It’s been a continuous negotiation between light and dark, future and past. There are beautiful moments and chaotic ones. I’m learning to accept that life can be messy and that progress is rarely linear. Taking things one step at a time has helped me stay grounded. Some days I am okay; other days I am not, and I have learned that both states are part of the process.

Why I Share My Story

I share this for my brothers and sisters who are hiding in the shadows—those who lack access to care, who are rejected by loved ones, who lose their jobs because of stigma, or who live in places where disclosure is dangerous. I write in honor of those who have paved the way for us and for those who continue to struggle. Writing and speaking openly about my experience is therapeutic, and I hope it can be helpful to others navigating similar paths.

There are still communities—especially Black and trans people, as well as people living in certain political or religious climates—who face immense barriers to care and acceptance. HIV should no longer be a death sentence for anyone with access to treatment, yet stigma and discrimination keep people from getting the support they need. That is why education and awareness are crucial.

Using Privilege to Help Others

I want to use the privilege I have for good: to educate, to raise awareness, and to support others. If you have ideas for how to better support communities affected by HIV—whether through outreach, education, or direct support—please reach out. You can contact me by email or via Instagram DMs to share strategies or to connect. Community-led support and honest conversations are powerful tools to dismantle stigma.

With this post, I say no to stigma and taboo. I’m committed to continuing this conversation, listening to others, and doing what I can to create safer spaces for people living with HIV.

One love,

Jason